


'It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane'

by MissDeeds



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Alien Planet, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Tragedy, Caretaking, Descent into Madness, Family Dynamics, Gen, Human Experimentation, Insanity, M/M, Mental Instability, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:08:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23442199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissDeeds/pseuds/MissDeeds
Summary: A mission to an unknown world goes awry when the away team is abducted by the inhabitants and experimented on. Upon release back to the Enterprise, the crew discovers that there's something wrong with their captain. As time goes on his mind deteriorates and the crew races to save their captain from the depths of insanity.
Relationships: Christopher Pike/Spock
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that I'm nowhere near anything close to a doctor, so take it with a grain of salt. It's not based on any official condition or disorder, just some general things. I hope you don't mind.

Prologue 

The walk to sickbay felt incredibly long for Spock; he knew what he would see but that didn’t make it any easier. Over the past few months, a lot had happened, everyone was still processing it – Spock included. 

Reaching the doors, he stalled for a moment thinking about whether he wanted to go in. He knew what would be in there – more specifically who was in there and why. 

***

Sickbay was mostly silent as he entered, its ambient sounds and people silently working filled it. His destination was near the back of sickbay, in a private room. Outside, Number One and Boyce were having a discussion and they sounded concerned – very concerned. 

Approaching them cautiously, Spock eyed the closed door behind them.

“How is he today?” He stopped just shy of them, a distance beyond spatial keeping him back.

“Calmer than yesterday, no outbursts yet.” There was a tone of concern in Boyce’s voice, and it was evident on his face. 

“We were just discussing…what to do. It’s a tough situation, and I don’t think it has an easy solution.” It was Una’s turn to be thoughtful and concerned.

He stayed for a few moments talking to them before entering the code into the door lock, waiting for the proper authentication to go through. It pained him to do this. Its occupant really didn’t deserve this.

***

“Captain?”

Curled in the corner with his back to the door was Pike. He was silent but seemed to be moving his head to an invisible tune. No matter how much time passed or what happened, Spock felt like he could never get over seeing his captain like this; how unintelligible and unpredictable he now was. Moreover, how illogical his mind had become. 

Seeing that he hadn’t been heard, he decided to keep near to the door; just to be on the safe side. In here, Pike was safe and everyone else was too. Strangely, the words he’d used to make the logic connection were failing Spock the closer they got to Earth. Explaining the whole thing to Starfleet command would be a difficult task – and reacclimating the captain to a new environment seemed daunting. 

***

Only now while he was in his quarters, Spock realised he hadn’t even written his report of the events. Una and Boyce already had, so it was just him that hadn’t completed one yet.

Accepting that he had only a short amount of time to work on it, Spock sat down and began to recite his view of the past few months.

“Lieutenant’s log, Stardate…”

End


	2. Chapter 2

Encircling above Milnothea, the Enterprise had been scanning the planet for the usual signs. Researching a new world always felt exciting to the crew, and this one was shaping up to be something amazing.

From his position on the bridge, Spock surveyed the bridge crew’s reactions – and they were all animated and active. He was too in a way, the scientific readings they had been getting so far were fascinating and he wanted to investigate it a lot more.

The organising for the away team went smoothly, the crew had done this so many times it had become second nature to them all. 

***

Within under an hour everything was ready. The team had assembled in the transporter room and were animatedly talking about the upcoming planet-side tests.

Beaming down they saw just how beautiful the planet really was, the sensors did not do it enough justice. The whole place was lush pine forest interspersed with lakes and rocks, with local fauna making calls above them. There were beautiful flower-like plants covering the ground that sparkled when the sunlight touched them. 

Once the away team recovered from the shock of the place’s beauty, they got to work. Spock and the rest of the science officers began analysing the area, collecting samples, and comparing results. 

While he had been busying himself with examining a water sample, Spock hadn’t heard the captain come up beside him and kneel too.

“What a place, eh Spock? Haven’t seen one like this in a long time.”

“Indeed Captain, the conditions on this planet are optimal.”

They both stood up in a synchronous movement, they had been getting a lot closer as of late and it was nice. The rest of the crew did not know about them yet, and they still wanted to keep it that way until they were comfortable with it.

As Pike went off to talk with the other team members about their findings, Spock resumed his task. Evidently the planet was M-class and seemed uninhabited from what their scanners had told them. 

***

While they were all packing up, Spock felt like he sensed something in the distance. It was only for moment, but it puzzled him none the less. If their sensors had not picked anything up why should he? Clearing that thought from his mind, he joined back up with the rest of the team and was ready to beam back up. 

That was when something like fire raced through his mind. And he was not the only one; the rest of the team were in pain too. The feeling increased to a point of being unbearable and one by one they began to collapse to the ground, all curling up in trying to find a way to stop the pain.

Before he fell completely unconscious, Spock thought that he saw something – or someone – approaching them from the forest.

***

It took Spock a long time to come to again, when he did he immediately noticed he was not where was before. Instead of the forest, he found himself in a small, cell-like room. It did not have any windows or even an entrance for that matter…the room itself had no details to speak of, it was just sterile, blank and white.

Struggling to at least sit up, he realised that no one else was in the cell with him. That struck him as odd; where was the rest of the away team? Were they safe? Or were they in a similar situation to him? Right now, what he needed to do was explore the cell then find a way out of the place with the rest of the crew.

Spock began to formulate a plan for this situation, but he was distracted when a part of the wall lifted and chucked in was Pike. He was looking a little worse for wear; he looked like he had been beaten but at first glance, Spock believed he was not severely injured. His worry spiked when Pike didn’t answer his first greeting. He seemed to be quite out of it.

Moving to lift him up from the floor, Spock checked him over carefully in case he had missed something. 

“Captain? Are you alright?” He carefully held Pike close to him, checking for any sign of consciousness. 

There was no response and he grew more concerned, but then Pike began to shift and open his eyes.

“S-Spo…ck…?”

“It is indeed me Captain, what is your condition?”

“No-not good…head…hurts…”

“What did they do to you? Are you able to remember?” He had to know what had happened; it would aid them all if he knew.

Pike was silent for a few moments, possibly thinking about what had happened before slowly shaking his head negatively. It obviously hurt him to move.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know…Last thing I remember was some sort of pain in my mind…it escalates, then…passing out…”

Spock thought about what he had just heard, it was not dissimilar to his own experience. Whoever or whatever had kidnapped them was quite skilled, and without knowing the extent of their captors’ force, their condition remained critical. 

His attention was drawn back to Pike, who had seemingly passed out and was now twitching slightly as he slept. That piqued his curiosity, it didn’t seem like usual behaviour more like the result of something done to him. He decided that a mind meld could possibly shed some light on what happened. 

Bracing himself for what he was about to potentially see, Spock lay Pike down on the ground and placed his fingers on Pike’s temples to begin to look for anything unusual and recent.

He’d prepared himself but not for what he really saw; images of being strapped down tightly and feeling pain mentally, glimpses of beings looking down at him, poking and prodding…and something else. Spock had to break the connection before it got too much, the images and sensations he’d felt from his Captain’s mind were raw and intense.

“What happened to you…?”

Whatever occurred, he wasn’t about to forgive the beings that had done this. There was damage in Pike’s mind; Spock just hoped that he could do something to fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super long wait, I kept getting distracted with new ideas but I am committed to this story.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on like several other stories at the moment and this is one of them, I hope this spotty upload schedule is okay.

“End current log.”

Relaxing his body back a little, Spock looked out the view port in his quarters and noticed that they were stalled. That didn’t seem to make sense, unless…they were meeting with another ship or shuttle. 

As he pondered on what the reason could be, he decided to continue his log later and go and find out the reason for the ship’s pause. 

***

Upon leaving and heading towards the bridge, Spock heard his name being called over the intercom and the request to come to sickbay. Quickly changing his direction and pace he headed off to see why he was needed – hoping that it wasn’t for his strength.

***

When he entered, he was surprised at what he saw.

“Admiral, Captain, I did not expect to see you here.”

“Lieutenant Spock, good to see you.” Admiral Cornwell’s voice sounded strong, but there was more than a hint of concern in it. “I hear you’ve had a lot to do with this situation.” 

“I have, Admiral.”

A strained silence took over the room, being only broken by the sound of a cough.

“And what is it at the moment?” Captain Georgiou looked slightly worried, her stance and tone of voice gave it away. 

“Not the best it could be, sir.”

They looked down for a moment, a solemn feeling hung over everyone. 

“May we see him?” There was clear trepidation in the Admiral’s voice, she was obviously concerned.

He stood silent, thinking about that. He couldn’t deny them that, but the more people exposed to Pike the higher the risk. 

“He is just in here, but I must warn you to stay close to the door. If something goes wrong leave immediately, the medical staff will handle it. He trusts me and won’t harm me, but other people…are risks.”

With that warning in the air, Spock entered the code into the keypad and waited for the door to open. 

***

He didn’t quite recognise the people who entered his room, only one though, the one with the funny ears. They stayed by the door like all the others who came to visit him, and he stayed by the wall and eyed them off in hopes that they would go away. 

He heard voices different to those who had been plaguing him all night; they were coming from the visitors. What they were discussing was beyond him, so he went back to playing with the lines on the wall and watched the way they swirled and moved. 

Then he took a look back at the visitors, and he felt… angry. He realised he didn’t like them at all, they were intruding on his space and he wanted them gone. So, with that plan in mind, he slowly stood up and began to walk towards them.

***

Spock saw the attack coming before it landed, it wasn’t hard to miss. When he saw Pike begin to stand up, he grew tense and carefully mouthed a warning to Cornwell and Georgiou. 

He hadn’t actually expected Pike to attack as quickly as he did. But he managed to intercept him when the captain launched himself at them. From there it became a chaotic mix of shouting, restraining and hasty retreats. Pike had gone completely feral; shouting and clawing, crying and thrashing and even Spock had to admit he had trouble restraining him.

After a lot of difficulty, the medical team had him strapped down and sedated. Taking one last look at him, Spock left the room last and closed the door, locking it with the keypad.

“I apologise for what has happened, I did not expect the reaction given.”

“No need to apologise, I understand I’ll possibly have my work cut out for me…” Cornwell stood in thought looking at the door.

“What do you mean, Admiral?” He felt confused, how had she found out about the situation?

“Ah, yes. The reason I am here is to try to work with your captain, perhaps find a way to communicate and treat him.”

“And you, Captain?” He addressed this to Georgiou. 

“A friendly face, someone he may remember and be comfortable with.”

The group of them stayed silent for a minute, reflecting on the situation and how difficult it was going to be. 

Deep down, Spock felt confident about it all. There had to be some part of his captain’s mind that was still functioning and thinking; if he could just reach wherever that part was then he’d be able to get a foothold in helping him recover.

Excusing himself from them, he headed back to his quarters and thought about how he would continue his log.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so so sorry for the delay, lost interest for a while but I know how I wanna end it so that should help.

Their escape had been chaotic – like most rescues that were enacted by the Enterprise crew. The checkup in sickbay went alright, Spock’s concerns over captain were warranted, Pike wasn’t too well: he was unfocused like he was concussed and he kept passing out every few minutes.

But after a while there Pike was released and seemed entirely fine, if a little tired at times. So with seeing that his captain was fine again, Spock settled back into his duties but kept an eye on Pike – just in case.

-

A few days went by before anyone noticed that something was off with their captain; Pike was more agitated than usual, mumbling incoherently at times, staring blankly at random spaces and acting paranoid at almost anyone. This behaviour wasn’t lost on anyone, particularly the senior crew. 

It escalated to the point that everyone was gravely concerned, despite their best efforts to fix whatever this problem was nothing seemed to do any good. 

When not on duty Spock was concerned for his Captain, a part of him felt like it was his fault that he hadn’t noticed whatever this was sooner. Each time he looked in on Pike in sickbay he seemed worse, like this affliction was rotting his mind away and they couldn’t do a thing to stop it. 

-

Days became blurred after this, the mutual feeling of anxiety spreading throughout everyone. No explanation could ease it, the only idea they had was that something had been done to him on that away mission but any specifics were unknown. 

Out of everyone why did it have to be their Captain?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, hopefully the next ones will be longer.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this prologue, it's just a kind of teaser for the story. I appreciate any help and comments. It came from a weird place of inspiration so I hope it ends up well.


End file.
